I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
