You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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