Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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