He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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