Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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