my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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