Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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