Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
