Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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