Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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