Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
