I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
