How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
its liver damage thursday
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
