I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize