So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
