who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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