Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i dont even know how to be here
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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