i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
