She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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