Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if i can run in heels then i can drive
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
