I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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