Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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