Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize