in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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