Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we made out on top of his cat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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