Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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