i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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