I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
