Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
