I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
