Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
