dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
