It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
