well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Randomize
