I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
