is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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