Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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