biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Girls should come with a carfax report
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
