Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize