Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
