I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
