I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
