somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
