Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
