Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
