I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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