You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
