ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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