I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
