I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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