brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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