Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
