I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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