Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
