yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just cropdusted the office
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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