Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
