I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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