Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You're like the curious george of whores
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
