Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
