I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
