Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
