We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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