i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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