I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize