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• (760): View more from California

  What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo

  (619): View more from California

  Cremation, why do you ask?

  (760): View more from California

  I think we have a bit of a problem

  Fav 15 1467 1971

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

  Fav 30 4100 1228

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear

  Fav 12 3818 2439

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

  Fav 21 4493 962

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  i want to swaddle you in tequila

  Fav 4 2903 1092

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.

  Fav 3 1376 845

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.

  Fav 3 2341 793

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you

  Fav 1 422 589

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.

  Fav 0 595 338

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.

  Fav 1 77 24

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.

  Fav 2 135 9

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart

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