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• (760): View more from California

  Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice

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• (469): View more from Texas

  It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

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• (518): View more from New York

  He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

  (1-985): View more from Louisiana

  Do I have a choice?

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?

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• (518): View more from New York

  We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Is it rude if I don't go?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.

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