pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick