the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
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He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN