Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
that may or may not have been my penis.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
