So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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