found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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