Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
