I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
