Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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