How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
