vagina is talking i cant
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
