you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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