I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
im on a boat
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